


Insomnia

by ACuckoo



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-19 23:57:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8229136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ACuckoo/pseuds/ACuckoo
Summary: There's something about the night that Carlos finds haunting and disturbing. He wonders if even his precious weapon can protect him from his monsters.





	

The night brings with it all the terror and uncertainty that is pushed away in the day. All of the ignored doubts, the covered lies, the false hope… Night brings it all to life. There was nothing about the night that Carlos found comforting. Where could he hide? When bad memories haunted him, when doubts of his decisions swirled in his mind, when fears of the future and regrets of the past mocked him and laughed at him, where could he hide?  
  
Daytime allowed him to hide away his insecurities. The sun’s rays masked his fears so they weren’t displayed to the world or to himself. The night stars, however, were like a million little spotlights, revealing all of the the horrible things he tried so desperately to hide.  
  
But the night was something he had to live with. He had to deal with it. He had to face it.  
  
“I’ll face it,” said his reflection.  
  
“I’ll face myself,” he said back to it.  
  
It was a beautiful lie.  
  
He cowered under his covers, away from the mirror. He didn’t want to see himself. He didn’t want to talk to himself. He didn’t want to face his doubts. He didn’t want to face the night.  
  
There was something, though. Something Carlos had that could tear all of those doubts away, at least for a moment. From the day he met Cecil he knew that he was unlike anyone else in this strange town. The other people were just that. People. But Cecil was different. Cecil was incredible. Amazing. Perfect. There was an aura about him, a genuinity, a glow, an attraction to him that science couldn’t explain. It was frightening and intriguing, and it lured Carlos in like a firefly to the web of the most beautiful and seductive spider.  
  
Spiders always win.  
  
Cecil could protect him from the night. Cecil could keep him safe. Or so he thought. What did Carlos really know about Cecil? Everything. What didn’t he know about Cecil? Everything. His protection was transparent. Glass can always break no matter how strong it may seem. Even wrapped tightly in Cecil’s arms, the terrors of night could penetrate through him and grab Carlos and devour him. It was the same battle every night. A fight for his life with a sword and shield in the form of his lover, but tonight he was weaker than usual. He found himself sinking deeper and deeper into those nightmares. He couldn’t fight.  
  
He lay his weapon on the flowers as his thoughts scaled his castle walls, and off he went, all alone into his nightmare.  
  
And Cecil heard the click of the door.  
  
Night time in Night Vale looked different, or so Carlos thought. Black singed with purple. Purple fading to white. White bleeding into red. Red transforming to mahogany. Mahogany taking the slow, tedious steps back to black. Black singed with purple.  
  
Or maybe it didn’t look like that at all. Carlos wasn’t sure. Night Vale defied everything he knew, and just when he thought he finally grasped something the town took it away and never showed it to him again. The mystery of this place was inspiring, but also treacherous.  
  
Carlos walked through the velvet night, pushing through it’s heavy curtains, passed the dog park and the gurgling noises from the library, passed the radio station, passed the Arby’s, passed this and passed that, until he made it to his lab. He didn’t go in and instead sat on the sidewalk outside of it, looking up at the black-purple sky.  
  
And there they were. They never rushed at him, his doubts and fears and insecurities. They crept up on him. Slowly. Stealthily. It was just a trickle at first. A doubt here and a doubt there. Then it sprinkled. Here’s a fear to go with those doubts. Then it poured down regrets, anxieties, pain, and… Possibly heart ache? Is that what this was? Carlos brought his hand to his chest. What did heart ache feel like? Like a heart attack? A panic attack? Like being stabbed a thousand times? Like being stabbed once in just the right spot?  
  
Or just a dull ache. A throbbing that could be ignored but was always there. Haunting.  
  
“Carlos?”  
  
There wasn’t anyone in Night Vale who didn’t recognize that voice.  
  
“Why are you dressed?” Carlos asked immediately, taking in his lover’s shiny black shoes, his precise black slacks, his sleek dark purple vest, over a light, button-up purple shirt, with Carlos’s favorite plain black tie.  
  
“I have somewhere to be. Why are you not dressed?” Cecil replied, taking his lover’s simple blue pajamas.  
  
“I have nowhere to be.”  
  
“Then why are you not home?”  
  
“There’s really somewhere you have to be at this hour?”  
  
Cecil didn’t like his questions being answered with questions. “Yes,” he said, narrowing his eyes.  
  
“Where?”  
  
“With you.”  
  
“Oh.” Battles of conversation were always short and sweet with Cecil, and Cecil always came out the victor. For a moment Carlos thought he was in trouble, especially considering he answered a question with a question, but Cecil’s features softened, his body relaxed, and he chuckled to himself as he sat on the empty sidewalk beside his lover.  
  
“Talk to me,” he said.  
  
Where to begin? Where to end? Carlos opened his mouth to let the words flow out only to find his throat dry and scratchy. His mind, for once, was empty. Here was his weapon, ready to defend him as he always was, and yet Carlos didn’t have the strength to even face his terror. He couldn’t speak the words, let alone fight the battle. He had to. He knew he had to. There were his fears, lying in wait, and here was his sword, ready to defend, and here was the warrior, shaking like a coward.  
  
“Let’s play word association. You know how to play, right?”  
  
Carlos blinked at Cecil’s sudden act of playfulness, but he welcomed it. He nodded his head and took Cecil’s hand, letting the warmth of the other seep into him and calm him down.  
  
“Night,” Cecil started.  
  
“Vale.”  
  
“The night.”  
  
“Fears.”  
  
“Thoughts.”  
  
“Chaos.”  
  
“Why.”  
  
“I’ll never know.”  
  
“Science.”  
  
“Discovery.”  
  
“Discovery.”  
  
“Enlightenment.”  
  
“Mind.”  
  
“Reason.”  
  
“Emotion.”  
  
“Insanity.”  
  
“The night.”  
  
“Monsters.”  
  
“Thoughts.”  
  
“Monsters.”  
  
“Day.”  
  
“Hiding.”  
  
“The night.”  
  
“Monsters.”  
  
“Protection.”  
  
“Cecil.”  
  
And the game was done with Cecil getting exactly what he wanted. He squeezed Carlos’s hand tighter and brought it to his lips. “We all have monsters that attack us at night, don’t we? Those same monsters don’t seem to like the daytime very much, but they’re still there. Lurking. Waiting. Eager to feed.”  
  
“It’s worse at night.”  
  
“It always is. Night invites the monsters to our most sacred places. They invade homes, beds, and especially the mind. Probably because most of the time they are a product of the mind. We can push them away in the day time. We can hide behind work, school, friends, the occasional kidnapping by the secret police, but at night… There’s nothing but you and time. You and time to think. But remember, Carlos….”  
  
Carlos looked into his lover’s eyes and nearly flinched at his reflection. Why did he look so scared? Why did he look so insecure? Why had he allowed his doubts and fears to do this to him?  
  
“There’s nothing in the dark that wasn’t already there in the light.”  
  
It was a frightening concept, and yet an oddly comforting one. Comforting enough for Carlos to stare into the darkness of the night, and not feel his fears creep over him from the darkness. The sword had done it’s job, as Carlos should have trusted that it would. What was a mass of hysteria and uncertainty in his mind had lowered to just a small, nagging irritation. Annoying, but easy to ignore. Fears never went away entirely, or so he didn’t think. However, this was a good start. His fears shrunk even more as Cecil kissed him, wrapping him in his arms to protect him from the monsters of his mind. Carlos kissed him for hours, or minutes. Time didn’t exist when Cecil was with him. The hands on the clocks all froze in their places, and even when they pulled away for air time remained in it’s icy state.  
  
“If you hide in the day and you hide in the night, then what’s the difference? Face your fears, Carlos. And take me with you. I’ll protect you from everything. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men don’t compare to the army you have in me.”  
  
Carlos felt silly. Why had he allowed himself to go this long by himself when he had Cecil with him? He wasn’t alone in his mind. He wasn’t alone with his fears and regrets and insecurities and monsters. He had his weapon. He had his Cecil.  
  
“Let’s go home,” Cecil said as he stood, taking Carlos with him. “I don’t want to be dressed anymore.”  
  
“We can arrange that.”  
  
The honeysuckle laugh that echoed through the singed purple darkness brought a peace to Carlos that he thought had been lost to him forever. The night no longer looked so deep and frightening. It was no different than the light. Together, Cecil and Carlos walked hand in hand through the heavy velvet curtain with their monsters trailing them.  
  
Far behind them.


End file.
